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This is Really Scary…

A photo of a guanaco on a paddle board on a lake in front of the Torres del Paine mountains (courtesy of Dall-E)

This morning’s subject was a “guanaco hunt”, capturing one or more of the charming Patagonia llamas in a nice pose, ideally in front of a mountain or similar.

Over lunch, as beer was consumed, we got talking about how we could improve the images we had captured. Looking at the wonderful view from the restaurant, I came up with the idea of a guanaco on a paddle board in front of the mountains.

Always up for a challenge I had my first go with Dall-E, the AI image generator. I gave it this simple prompt: “A photo of a guanaco on a paddle board on a lake in front of the Torres del Paine mountains”. Two of the four images it created were unusable, but the first was OK, the third was exactly what I had in mind. OK the guanaco’s legs are a bit odd, but the concept has been correctly interpreted and executed, and that’s the difficult part.

It really shouldn’t be that easy. Be afraid, be very afraid!

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It’s a Long Drive, to Torres del Paine (Almost works!)

View from the Osteria Pehoe
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9 | Date: 18-02-2023 19:41 | Resolution: 10015 x 3709 | ISO: 400 | Exp. bias: 0 EV | Exp. Time: 1/200s | Aperture: 8.0 | Focal Length: 12.0mm

After a very quick dawn shoot we assembled for the long drive from El Chalten to Torres del Paine in Chile. This involves driving about 100 miles East, the a couple of hundred South, past El Calafate where we started, then West over the border and into the Torres del Paine National Park.

Canyon of the Las Vueltas River (Show Details)

What you rapidly realise is that vast swathes of Patagonia are very empty, very flat and, let’s be frankm very boring near desert, with the odd fox or guanaco, maybe occasionally a few cattle. Our drive from El Chalten rapidly left behind the drama of the Mt. Fitzroy massif and turned into a steady plod. The first available stop was after 1.5 hours, the next more than a further 2. That’s not a choice – you can often see 5 or 10 miles in each direction and the only evidence of mankind is the road itself.

I’d be asleep at the wheel in minutes, hats off to our excellent driver Gustavo who seems to be happy doing this hour after hour.

About 4pm, after 7 hours on the (good) road we turned onto a gravel track towards the border, with the Torres del Paine just appearing in the distance. Rattling along at 20mph seemed at odds with the "main road" marking on my map, but I suppose it’s no different to southern Namibia.

We’ve been terrorised with stories of the border crossing taking multiple hours, but it wasn’t too bad – processed both sides, a coffee purchased and on our way in not much more than an hour. The main challenge is that after standing in various queues Chilean customs insist on scanning every item of luggage. It’s just sobering to remember that it used to be that way going from France to Belgium.

The road is nicely surfaced from the exact border point to a few miles from the Chilean customs, when we diverted onto a ghastly washboard which runs for a vast distance alongside what is obviously going to be a very nice new road when completed. Occasionally we were teased by crossing the new carriageway, then we were back on the washboard.

Distant views of Torres del Paine from the bus (Show Details)

The roads in the Park are much the same, and it took almost two hours to get to the hotel. Richard had been actively managing down expectations, and it is true that the Osteria Pahoe has seen better days. There is one compensation. The view.

Apparently tomorrow most of our shooting will be within walking distance. This could work…

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Water, Water, Tunch

The Cascada Cañadon de los Toros
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9 | Date: 17-02-2023 11:59 | Resolution: 6571 x 3696 | ISO: 200 | Exp. bias: 0 EV | Exp. Time: 1/13s | Aperture: 9.0 | Focal Length: 9.0mm

The day started with another visit to the canyon viewpoint, to see if we could get better light than on Wednesday. At first it looked like the Eastern sky was overcast and we wouldn’t get much, but suddenly about 1/2 before dawn it brightened up and gave us another show, but with a bit more cloud than yesterday.

It’s very interesting how photographs reflect a photographer’s outlook, and how different photographers seek different key characteristics for that purpose. I loved the cloudless sky yesterday morning and the strong geographic shapes in red and orange or blue which resulted from it. My companion for the same shoot didn’t and was much more enthusiastic about the small clouds on the mountains, which I regarded as “messing up” the underlying shapes. Chacun à son goût.

After breakfast we got on the bus and drove for well over an hour through the park to the Cascada Cañadon de los Toros, a small but dramatic cascade near the end of the navigable road. This was ideal for my style of shooting, lots of different views from tricky positions well-suited to hand-holding. However I discovered that I had to do slightly more hand-holding than recommended – the best lens for the job was my new 9mm f/1.7, but it takes 55mm filters and I only have a 58mm neutral density filter (to slow down the shutter speed and hence the water’s movement). The best shots therefore were taken at around 1/10s with my right hand holding the camera, and my left holding the ND filter. Thank the forces of light, or whoever’s responsible, for dual image stabilisation!

The Cascada Cañadon de los Toros (Show Details)

It was another long drive back, so we headed off for “lunch” at about 3pm. It amuses me that while we have a well-established term for late breakfast / early lunch, we have no equivalent term for “we missed lunch so let’s eat enough now to cover it and tea/dinner”. My vote is for “Tunch”. We had a very nice tunch of steak and beer.

At the end of the day we had a short hike up to the Mirador los Condores. The light wasn’t great, but we did get some nice views of the town, and one very dramatic lenticular cloud above one of the peaks.

Lenticular cloud above the El Chalten Massif (Show Details)

Tomorrow, we move on to Chile.

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It’s a Mystery, It’s a Mystery, I’m Just Searching for a Clue

The Mt. Fitzroy massif at dawn
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9 | Date: 16-02-2023 07:09 | Resolution: 5017 x 3136 | ISO: 400 | Exp. bias: -33/100 EV | Exp. Time: 1/125s | Aperture: 7.1 | Focal Length: 54.0mm | Lens: LUMIX G VARIO 35-100/F2.8

Richard’s plan for this morning was a hike of 1.5-2 hours in each direction, with a significant vertical element. With my hip and knees complaining a bit I took the better part of valour and with Nigel opted for the alternative, shooting from an overlook encompassing both the mountains and town. Before dawn we were rewarded with the mountains glowing pink balanced by the lights of El Chaltén.

Pre-dawn glow over Mt. Fitzroy, with the lights of El Chalten (Show Details)

As the sun rose the scene changed with bright reds and oranges creeping down each peak until the whole range was bathed in fiery colours.

Mt. Fitzroy at dawn (Show Details)

After breakfast 1 of 2 we took the bus up to the trail head to meet the rest of the group on their return. It became apparent that the walk had been longer and harder than expected, with several who yesterday were bouncing around now moving as stiffly as myself, so I definitely made the right call. While I was waiting I stalked a rabbit through the grass. The latest “animal aware” adjustments to Panasonic auto-focus really are very good:

Patagonian rabbit! (Show Details)

Breakfast 2 of 2 was at the Wafelria, which is exactly what it sounds like. Apparently it’s now a tradition for after the hike. At least some of the group had already worked off the calories…

Argentinian finances continue to be a mystery to me. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they continue to be a mystery to the Argentinian Finance Ministry! There are two exchange rates, the official one, and the "other official one", for tourists.

If you exchange cash, US$ say, you can easily get almost twice as many Pesos as at the airport change desks. Any tourist-facing business can do this, so you can pay for a meal with a $20 bill and get almost as many Pesos in change as if you had changed it at an official bureau. So far not so unusual, especially if you are old enough to have travelled to Eastern Europe before the fall of communism.

But in these days of electronic money it gets weirder. Pay a hotel or restaurant bill with a card and it initially goes through at the primary rate, which feels somewhere between "about right" and "a bit expensive" by UK standards.

Then a few days later a second transaction turns up on your card account, a rebate of nearly 50% to correct it to the tourist rate, and suddenly things feel very cheap. I assume this is an attempt to prevent the Peso just being replaced by a hard currency such as the dollar, but I’m not sure I see it ending well. At least I can stop worrying about my purchases here.

Photographic trips are hard. I spent the afternoon at “Pangea”, drinking beer and writing my blog, then stopped so I could go and get an early dinner at La Cervezeria, which as the name implies also involved drinking beer. I had to stop before I needed stabilisation, let alone my images!

The sunset shoot started off looking very unpromising, but suddenly just at the right time there were some odd breaks in the cloud and we got a handful of great shots. It really is worth sticking with it until the light is completely gone in such a location.

Sunset fire (Show Details)
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Mixed Fortunes

Peaks above El Chalten at sunrise
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9 | Date: 15-02-2023 06:32 | Resolution: 5195 x 2078 | ISO: 200 | Exp. bias: -33/100 EV | Exp. Time: 1.6s | Aperture: 7.1 | Focal Length: 56.0mm | Lens: LUMIX G VARIO 35-100/F2.8

We started the day about an hour before sunrise back at the overlook of Mt Fitzroy and the Las Vueltas river. On the positive side, yesterday’s wind didn’t re-materialise. On a more negative one, neither did much of the warm light on the mountains we’d been promised. We got some pre-dawn glow, but then around sunrise the mountain was covered by cloud, even though when we looked in other directions several were getting a great sunrise. That’s the way the cookie crumbles… At least it’s not a difficult location to revisit if time allows before we move on.

Canyon below El Chalten at sunrise (Show Details)

After breakfast we explored further into the park, around the side of Mt Fitzroy. At two separate locations we were able to experiment with both direct shots and reflections in water, however the reflections were disrupted a bit by the gentle breeze, and protective of her modesty the top of Mt Fitzroy remained cloaked in a tiny band of cloud.

Reflections (Show Details)

We had a great lunch – Argentinian steaks really are enormous – and a quiet afternoon including a critique session. I offered up a few of my shots and happily accepted the feedback. I also included the one taken above the glacier by the Argentinian lady, just to see how long it would be before the suggestion “crop off that ugly bit at the right-hand side”. About 10s…

We had two evening locations, first a waterfall for which the main challenge was getting a reasonable composition without appearing in everyone else’s and then a shot up the river towards the mountains from a raised outlook.

River delta above El Chalten (Show Details)
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Onwards and Upwards (A Little…)

Welcome to El Chalten
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9 | Date: 14-02-2023 12:15 | Resolution: 5234 x 3271 | ISO: 200 | Exp. bias: 0 EV | Exp. Time: 1/400s | Aperture: 6.3 | Focal Length: 35.0mm | Lens: LUMIX G VARIO 35-100/F2.8

We spent the morning of the second full day driving from El Calafate to El Chalten, which will be our base for four days. The road was remarkably flat, mainly straight and moderately boring for much of the time, but as we closed on El Chalten some very high mountains, particularly 3405m Mt Fitzroy, started to loom large over us. If Richard can deliver on his form from previous trips here these should be the focal points of some very dramatic images.

View of Mt Fitzroy from the bus (Show Details)

El Chalten is one of those tourist bases which is expanding almost as you watch it, and very busy. Richard and Alejandro, the local guide, had plans for lunch at a venue they usually use, but Plan A failed because there was no space. Plans B to about E also failed in rapid sequence. We did eventually get a nice lunch, but perched on very precarious bar stools and at about 3pm.

Mt Fitzroy (Show Details)

After lunch we went to case the joint for tomorrow’s dawn shoot, as it’s a somewhat precarious and very, very windy location overlooking the river as well as Mt Fitzroy. I’m a big bloke but I was struggling to stay upright. How we’ll get on in dawn light if the wind is as bad, or worse, tomorrow morning, remains to be seen. We are already down one hat as a group.

Mt Fitzroy and the Las Vueltas river (Show Details)

We had a short break for tea. I decided to “just get a sandwich” and ended up with a toastie about the size of my head with about 400g of meat in it. I managed half, with another bite after sunset.

As Richard promised, the sunset shoot was at a quieter location, but the primary subject, long exposures of reflections on water, really didn’t appeal. However turning around I was treated to some great patterns of light as the sun set on the mountains.

Sunset on the mountains (Show Details)

First dawn start tomorrow. Wish us luck!

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Where’s Wally?

Perito Moreno Glacier
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9 | Date: 13-02-2023 11:52 | Resolution: 12642 x 3498 | ISO: 400 | Exp. bias: 0 EV | Exp. Time: 1/1000s | Aperture: 8.0 | Focal Length: 18.0mm

The first day of the tour proper was spent on a trip to the Perito Moreno Glacier, a 250km2 ice formation, one of 48 glaciers fed by the Southern Patagonian Ice Field between Argentina and Chile. It is one of the most readily accessible for tourism, and as such is a major draw. Aside from the natural wonder, it has an unusual human history, as the area became one of the first national parks globally following their invention in the USA and Canada.

The hill opposite the front of the glacier is threaded through with a series of metal walkways and platforms so you can observe the glacier from multiple angles. All the steps weren’t ideal for my knees, but I got some great views, both panoramas of the whole glacier and details of the ice.

Detail of blue glacial ice, Perito Moreno Glacier (Show Details)

I have discovered that this tour is not running on “Rangers Rules” (Leave No Man Behind). I had gone slightly further down the trail to get a shot, and ended up back at the agreed meeting point shortly before the agreed time, with no sign of anyone else. After 15 minutes I discovered that they were all already in the cafe without me. From here on it’s every man for himself!

The glacier is very dynamic, advancing around 2.5m per day. This means that there’s a fairly continuous calving process, and during our visit several large lumps of ice fell off into the water, usually with no warning. This adds to the photographic challenge – can you have your camera in hand with appropriate settings to capture the event. Today I was lucky – a small piece fell off and alerted me, and I realised that a much larger slab was likely to follow. I didn’t have my camera out, and it was a race to get it ready. In the end I just made it, but without being zoomed in or in high speed mode, I just had to prod away at the shutter release while the collapse happened, but I’m really pleased with a couple of the frames.

Glacial calving (Show Details)

When I’m at a tourist location I’m always happy to do a swap and take a photo of someone on their camera, in return for the equivalent to record myself at the scene. While this has never resulted in anything really bad happening, the results on my side seem to vary between the odd and the hilarious. Today was no exception: I took a straightforward picture of a couple of South American ladies, and handed one of them my camera. Unsatisfied with a straight equivalent she started off up the steps to “get it all in”. I call the result “Where’s Wally?”

Where’s Wally? (Show Details)

Back at base we split into a couple of groups with different designs on dinner style and timing. With the four Germans and Glenn I headed to La Fabbrica, a “Cervezaria” or as we call them in Britain, a pub. We had a highly entertaining evening with a young waitress who was determined to teach us a least a little Spanish. The food was good, the beer better and the company excellent.

The Festival of the Lake continues. I really liked the headline act of the night, essentially a “folk rock” group, but I would have preferred if they finished slightly earlier than about half past midnight when I was trying to get to sleep. Oh well…

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Suitable for 6 Year Old Boys of All Ages

Who let the Giganotosaurus in?
Camera: SONY DSC-RX100M7 | Date: 12-02-2023 11:35 | Resolution: 3648 x 3648 | ISO: 1000 | Exp. bias: -0.3 EV | Exp. Time: 1/30s | Aperture: 4.5 | Focal Length: 11.3mm (~30.0mm)

On the first night in El Calafate we had an excellent but very large steak dinner, and once my digestive system had settled down I got a reasonable night’s sleep (cheat!)

At breakfast it transpired we’d been joined by the German contingent, all four of them, who’d taken a very early flight from Buenos Aires. As they were now in the position of being sleep deprived with nowhere to go and lie down, naturally we all decamped down to the lake to look at the flamingos. As we got within 20m of the water the temperature dropped, the wind whipped up, and I rapidly and publicly recanted all my rude comments about the clothing recommendations, and wished myself speedily back at the hotel to get a more substantial hat.

The flamingos were not terribly cooperative posing for us. We wondered if the issue might be they were all feeding, but on closer inspection it became apparent that they all had their heads tucked under their wings to get out of the cold blast. Completely understandable.

Flamingos at the Reserva La Nimez (Show Details)

Hotel revisited and hats exchanged, I set out for the El Calafate natural history museum, the Centro de Interpretación Histórica. Although relatively small, only really three large rooms, they have an excellent display of South American dinosaur skeletons, and a fun reconstruction of a giganotosaurus’ head. There’s an obvious selfie, although you have the challenge of getting the camera far enough away, and dealing with the low light in the room. Fortunately I had in my pocket the estimable Sony RX100 mk7, the only camera I still own with both on-camera flash and self timer, and it worked beautifully!

Austroraptor (front) and Carnotaurus (Show Details)

When I came out of the museum, about 1km from our hotel and El Calafate’s central park, they were warming up for “The Festival of the Lakes”, an annual music festival. I could hear everything clearly, which didn’t bode well for an early night at our hotel, over the road from the venue.

Back on the main street I bumped by accident into the Germans, who had by this stage been joined by the Texan contingent, and we had an excellent lunch of pizza and beer. A man’s gotta chew what a man’s gotta chew.

By 6pm the entire party had assembled and we had an excellent meal together. Back to the hotel and the Americans sat down to watch the Superbowl, complete with detailed Spanish narration. Meanwhile behind the festival was getting going at an even higher level of volume. The only solution, and one which worked, was lots of red wine!

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No Sleep Till … Images?

Aerial View Approaching El Calafate
Camera: SONY DSC-RX100M7 | Date: 11-02-2023 13:14 | Resolution: 5003 x 2814 | ISO: 100 | Exp. bias: -0.3 EV | Exp. Time: 1/800s | Aperture: 5.0 | Focal Length: 43.5mm (~119.0mm)

I’ve made a start on one of my occasional tests of the human body’s ability to endure in situations of extreme sleep deprivation, or, as I usually call them, photo trips. This time it’s Patagonia.

Those who know me better will be aware that this has been a long time coming. I originally booked a trip to Patagonia back in 2014, inspired by two BBC documentaries, one of which was made by the BBC wildlife unit, and the other, infamously, by the Top Gear team. The original booking got cancelled and became, after a couple of further cancellations, my Bhutan trip. Other things happened for a couple of years, but in 2019 I managed to make another booking for a Patagonia trip. I was literally ready to go in the third week of March 2020 and “shit happened”. The trip could have been a complete write-off, but fortunately the organisers managed to roll the various bookings forward, twice, and here we are.

I was going to write that I have been almost paranoid about any possible barrier to the trip happening this time but that would be incorrect. I have been absolutely, completely paranoid, even to the extent of limiting the weights I lifted in my last training session in case I strained something. Mad, perhaps, but I write this from El Calafate, so fingers crossed it’s worked.

True to form the trip started as it is likely to continue, if experience is any guide, with various causes of sleep deprivation. It’s a very long overnight flight from London to Buenos Aires, which started at almost 10pm. I was ready for a sleep then, and actually dozed as we were taking off, but BA had other plans. By the time they had finished with pre-dinner drinks, dinner, coffee and clearing up it was well after midnight and Hypnos had given up and gone off to more productive pastures. Despite a comfy seat and almost magical noise-cancelling headphones he didn’t re-appear and I dozed fitfully.

I arrived at the hotel fit to be tied, but as it was only 10am in Argentina the room wasn’t ready, so I spent the morning getting to know some Argentinian pastry delicacies. Finally the room was mine and I disrobed, closed the curtains, switched off the lights, climbed into bed, and that’s when the banging started. Either next door’s headboard needed maintenance, or it was involved in some repetitive physical activity… Fortunately (for me at least) it didn’t last long and I got off to sleep for about an hour, when the banging started again, in a different room.

Late afternoon I got up for a wander. The Hilton is located in a docklands regeneration area, with a waterway and various bridges for interest. Dinner at the hotel was prohibitively expensive, so I ended up in at a floating bar, on a pontoon in the middle of the dock, with tasty burgers and a very impressive, German-inspired beer list. My initial interaction was with a nice blonde waitress who spoke good English. However communication broke down when I tried to ask one of the other waiters for the bill, and he brought another beer! Oh well.

The Penon Del Aguila floating bar in Buenos Aires
(Show Details)

It may be a bit early to judge, but I am wondering if I’ve packed correctly. The suitcase includes fleece-lined over-trousers and a down parka. In Buenos Aires it was 33C. Hopefully that won’t be the case up on the glaciers, but I’m beginning to wonder.

The flight down to El Calafate was uneventful, but towards the end some interesting looking lakes and mountains started to appear. El Calafate itself is a typical wilderness tourist centre, putting me in mind of Banff in Canada, or Moab in Utah, but in Spanish. Exploring it will be tomorrow’s job.

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The World’s Worst Panorama, 2022

The World's Worst Panorama 2022
Resolution: 22654 x 3262

Making a very welcome return after an absence of over 4 years, here’s the “World’s Worst Panorama”™ 2022, from my recent trip to Lanzarote with Lee Frost.

From the left, first the “Non Participating Partners”, AKA “Ladies Without Cameras” (but with a drone) AKA, simply, the WAGs: Mary, Ann, Frances & Michelle. Then we have yours truly, John, Andy, Liz, Barry, Lee, Colin, Mark & Paul.

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Walker’s Reserve

Andrew planting a tree at Walkers Reserve
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9 | Date: 21-04-2022 13:58 | Resolution: 4851 x 3032 | ISO: 200 | Exp. bias: -66/100 EV | Exp. Time: 1/200s | Aperture: 8.0 | Focal Length: 20.0mm | Lens: LUMIX G VARIO 12-35/F2.8

With timing more serendipitous than deliberate I spent the eve of Earth Day at one of Barbados’ newest features – the nature reserve being created as the old sand quarry at Walkers in St. Andrews is being wound down. This was fortuitous in more ways than one: I’m always keen to see new attractions when we visit Barbados, but I can now claim something of a professional interest as well. My latest engagement with Aviva centres on their ambition to become the leading financial services organisation in respect of sustainability, and it was good to go hands on with a small but very practical sustainability project.

The site is in a corner of Barbados which doesn’t support much agriculture, and has since 2016 been designated as a National Park (along with most of Barbados’ East and North Coasts). When I’ve previously looked down on the area from the surrounding hills, or during a wonderful microlight flight in 2019, it’s always seemed somewhat ugly and barren, so the idea of turning it back into a semi-wild reserve seems perfect.

The Walkers Reserve site in 2019, early terracing work visible (Show Details)

There are some challenges. Although Barbados is green everywhere you look, and I’m writing this in the middle of a truly Biblical downpour, the reserve has to be designed on a "water deprived" basis, as it has to cope with both protracted dry periods, and then heavy rains most of which, unless trapped, will just drain straight to the sea. That affects both the choice of plants, which have to be tolerant to salt, heavy rainfall and dry periods, and the landscaping, designed with multiple traps to catch and slow rainwater for irrigation.

Much of Barbados’ agriculture is mono-cultural, especially the large areas dedicated to sugar cane, with all the associated physical and economic risks. Planting at the reserve is by contrast a deliberate polyculture, with multiple different species deliberately alternated. It’s a good example of taking some short-term pain (e.g. more tricky harvesting of the fruit) for longer-term benefits.

They also have to manage the endemic vegetation and wildlife, which includes a number of invasive species, most noticeably the weed which fills the freshwater ponds. Barbados doesn’t have a great record on invasive species management. One of the creatures which crossed our path on the tour was a mongoose – now a significant part of the Barbados fauna, but originally introduced to try and keep down the (also introduced) rat population. The problem is that rats are nocturnal and mongeese are diurnal, so never the twain meet…

Education is a major part of the reserve’s mission. Some of the biggest challenges relate to the behaviour of local people and visitors, and will only be addressed by cultural change driven by that education. Littering has long been an issue across Barbados, and during heavy rains the reserve gets a graphic measure of this as anything deposited in the local waterways is washed down through its rivers and ponds. Plastic bottles are a constant nightmare, but my guide Meike has even seen a dumped fridge. Educational and information campaigns are starting to have an effect, but without a recycling culture (and with few local recycling facilities) it’s going to be a slow process.

Other behavioural challenges include persuading local farmers to use fewer chemicals, and persuading the owners of ATVs and dirt bikes not to use them on the fragile, protected dunes on the coastal side of the reserve.

One of the most graphic examples of where behavioural change could help is the "harvesting" of coconuts. Wherever there’s a coconut palm tree there will be coconuts, which will just rot if they fall on the ground, and there will usually be someone who wants to harvest them. They are definitely a renewable natural resource. So far so good. However what tends to happen with the vast majority on Barbados is the coconut is tapped for the coconut water, and then the rest of the nut, including the flesh/cream and copra, is just left to rot almost where it fell. There’s no attempt to extract and use what must potentially be a valuable food resource (surely at least for animal feed?) On top of that many of the illicit "harvesters" use spiked shoes to climb the trees, with a devastating effect on the tree bark. One can’t help but think that there has to be a better, longer-term approach.

As part of your visit you can plant a tree, which is a great opportunity to both make a practical contribution and offset the carbon emissions of your flight. I was given a Jamun tree to plant. These are fast-growing trees which produce both edible fruit and eventually useful water-resistant timber. As they can grow to over 10m tall one tree should comfortably offset the 2 tonnes or so of CO2 generated for a return Economy flight across the Atlantic, but it puts it in perspective that for true offsetting every passenger should plant such a tree on every trip, and that’s certainly not happening.

Even one tree helps the staff with their current project. Apparently the Jamun fruit make excellent wine, and the bee colony is now producing enough honey that they’ve started on making mead. That’s one Barbados tradition which doesn’t need to change, growing stuff and turning it into booze!

Walkers and Windy Hill from a Microlite (Show Details)

As with any post-industrial change there are both positive and negative impacts. Barbados will no longer be self-sufficient in sand for construction, and those who quarried and transported it will have to find alternative work, replaced by biologist/farmers, who also have to do a turn as tour guides and educators. It will be interesting to watch how things progress, but I hope that Walkers Reserve will succeed as a considered greening of an old industrial scar. It’s well worth a visit, and I hope its educational mission succeeds in building longer-term, more environmentally-focused thinking on Barbados and elsewhere.

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No Middle Way

No Middle Way...
Resolution: 595 x 368

A study in UX atrocity – the Mercedes Benz COMAND SatNav

I drive a 2011 Mercedes. Like many of its brethren, most of the vehicle is a demonstration of engineering excellence: smooth, efficient, safe and smart (in both senses of the word). Its controls are clear, precise and beautifully weighted. The intelligent brake and start/stop systems are almost telepathic once you get used to them.

But there’s a fly in the ointment – the appalling COMAND SatNav system. It does have a comprehensive UK address database, and will get you close to where you want to go, but that’s about the best which can be said for it. The user experience is atrocious, to the point where one wonders if it was considered at all.

The problems start with the routing algorithms. If it can, the car will recommend a route using motorway-class roads to the maximum extent. That’s fine, but it will then pursue that strategy to ridiculous extremes. Get off the motorway a junction early, and the system will determinedly try to re-route you back on, even if there’s a direct main road from your current location to the destination, and rejoining the motorway would add many miles.

However that pales in comparison with what happens if you either select a non-motorway route, or despite its best efforts the car really cannot find one. Plan B is to impose strict optimisation for distance. This ignores quality and size of road, the number of junctions and all similar considerations. There may be a direct route on a fast dual carriageway main road, but if the Domesday book mentions a cart track which saves a few metres the car will try and take you down it instead.

On one occasion this led me off Dartmoor on a dark November evening down a road with a 100m stretch narrower than my garage, with high granite walls on both sides, both front-end proximity sensors sounding continuously. Recently we had to get from the A4 to the A36, both substantial main roads which link together on the edge of Bath. The SatNav found an alternative – using single track roads and an ancient toll bridge for which we had to hand over £1 in cash!

None of this would matter if there was some way to set your optimisation preferences. Well the COMAND system does, sort of. It actually provides four routing options:

  • Dynamic route. The default, described above
  • Fastest route. This is the motorways-only model on steroids. It will happily take you 20 miles out of your way to use one. Plus it doesn’t take any notice of traffic warnings!
  • Shortest route. I shudder to think what this involves, but levitation and off-roading are safe bets.
  • Eco route. There’s not much guidance on what this entails, but since the most economical route is either the most direct or the one on which you can maintain a good speed unimpeded, I suspect it’s going to be similar to the default.

There are also a few "Avoid" checkboxes which you can add to the calculation. "Avoid tolls" might be useful (but see below), most of the others don’t apply in the UK or near continent. I’m not even sure what a "vignette obligation" is – do I have to stop to take a photograph with dark corners at regular intervals?

The options really don’t help much. Instead of aggressive optimisation for distance why not road size/quality (which you can easily estimate in the UK from the letter in the road number) or the expected speed based on speed limits?

To add insult to injury COMAND does recognise some restrictions, but at random. When travelling from England to Wales it always asks about trying to avoid the Severn tolls, no longer in operation, which would mean a 50 mile detour off the very direct motorway route, but it didn’t ask in advance about the active toll in Bath. After yet another cart track, when we programmed in our route back to hotel it had the bloody cheek to ask "your destination is in an area with restricted access do you wish to continue?" The only challenge turned out to be the hotel gate which is a good 2.5m wide, a clearance of at least 30cm either side of my Mercedes, neither proximity detector triggered. My wife has started to anthropomorphise the system as actively mischievous.

Other UX issues are equally frustrating. You can only turn off voice guidance by a long press on the mute button while it’s actually speaking. Once off there is no way to turn it back on without cancelling and re-programming the destination. Surely it ought to be possible to provide a menu option to just turn the voice on and off?

At least the navigation function’s voice is a pleasant female with a clear British accent, who can correctly pronounce most English place names and will have a decent stab at Welsh ones. When speaking she gently fades the music and restores it afterwards.

She shares the box with the traffic warning "lady". I assume this second voice is also meant to be female, but it sounds like Stephen Hawking having a fight with a Dalek. She abruptly buts in, just silencing the music, and her attempts to pronounce UK place names are scary. Reigate (pronounced Rye-Gate) comes out as "Ree-a-gaa-ter", anything more complicated is unrecognisable. The best is probably the motorway between London and Southampton, the M3, which is renamed the "cubic meters"!

As a software architect I find it shocking that a closely related pair of systems, which do collaborate to adjust routes around traffic problems, ended up with two separate text to speech systems, a good one and an appalling one. How on earth did this mess get through the first stage of Mercedes QA? As a user all I can do is wince and try not to be distracted from the road trying to understand the encrypted names of traffic locations.

[That said, this is a schizophrenic car in other ways. It can be a saloon or a roadster. It can burble along with the best of luxury limos, but push the Sport button and it releases a snarling monster which has to be actively restrained. Perhaps the dual personalities of Saint Teresa of the Sat Nav and Mad Traffic Tracy are just a further expression. It would have been the ideal car for Dr. Edward Jekyll.]

Two things are apparent. The "designers" of this system (using the politest term possible) either didn’t think about usability, or didn’t care. They then either refused to get independent testing and review, or actively ignored its results. One can only hope the same has not happened with a more critical but less visible system.

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